The Pink Door

1919 Post Alley. Seattle, WA 98101(206) 443-3241thepinkdoor.net

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Located in a pseudo alley and marked with very little signage, save the actual color of the door (which is obviously pink), the place makes you feel like you are entering a sex dungeon. Especially as you head down the stairs into an intimately lit, high-ceiling dining space adorned with various types of trapeze equipment hanging above the tables. Apparently there is a correlation between colored doors and hedonistic things lying behind them. The Green Door, for those old enough to remember, had porn behind it and The Pink Door has, well… burlesque trapeze (pictured). Which is naturally the first thing you think of when you think Italian cuisine. The Italians being well known for their burlesque- oh, wait… Sorry, that’s the French. But trapeze- okay, also French. So I’m not exactly sure why the European mash-up, but I have to say I dug the vibe.

I also dug the fact that as a walk-in, they didn’t screw me with a table by the wait station. Quite the contrary, they gave me the best table in the restaurant, outside on the patio, in a corner, offset from everyone else, with an amazing view of the water and Mt. Rainier.

Another pleasant surprise was the 2013 Va Piano Sauvignon Blanc by the glass from Wala Wala, Washington. Not only was it one of the best Sauvignon Blancs I’ve ever had, it was one of the best whites I’ve ever had offered by the glass. And let’s be honest, there’s a third plus as well… it’s just fun to say Wala Wala, Washington.

Unfortunately, the food didn’t hold up to the preamble. The asparagus, while decent, gained nothing from the crispy prosciutto and hard boiled egg crumble, because both are served in such minimal proportion that I didn’t even get the point.

They made up for it though, with a salmon special that was very good. Served over a cauliflower and fennel puree, with broccolini, morels and roasted grape tomatoes. Not very Italian, but I think that ship kinda sailed. And at least it was healthy, clean cookin.’

But easy come easy go, because after making it up to me on the entrée, they royally shat the bed on dessert. The oatmeal crisp was so atrocious there was nothing crisp about it, soggy like a bowl of cereal sitting in milk for over an hour. Quite possibly the worst I’ve ever had.

And while I would love to stay mad at The Pink Door for wasting my money on that dessert, I have to give it up to them for the free dinner theater, bizarre as it might be. Starting with an Elvira-looking vamp, decked out in black chiffon, traipsing through the restaurant like she was Lady Godiva or something. Then, right their in the middle of the restaurant, she climbs aboard one of the trapeze swings hanging from the ceiling and proceeds to writhe on this thing like Josephine Baker while people attempt to still eat their meals beneath her. Not since Señor Tango in Buenos Aires have I ever had a dining experience like this. And for that, I have to commend The Pink Door. Thank you for making me feel like I was on another planet. A distinction not many restaurants can achieve. Which is probably a good thing.

3 teeth

Raines Law Room

48 W 17th St. New York, NY 10011 raineslawroom.com

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Only in New York could you actually get people to stand in line to drink in a basement. But I kid the Law Room because I loved it. And while it’s true that it is in fact located in a basement, it is one of the more exclusive, refined and chic basements you are likely to find yourself drinking in. In place of wood paneling you’ll find art deco wallpaper, floor to ceiling curtains and high-back, over-sized sofas. And for the cherry on top of the cool, there is a doorbell on the wall of every “section” which you ring to call your bitchy meets vampy server over.

The cocktail menu is loaded with options, broken down by palate (strong, refreshing, spicy, etc…). My favorite of the lot is called the Wildest Redhead, made with blended scotch, cherry (to give it the “red”) and a few other things to make it more complex than this lame description.

My second fav would be the Garden Paloma, a refreshing tequila based version of the Bourbon Bonnet at Maysville, if you’ve ever had it. A close third, and dead ringer for taste would be the 10 Gallon Hat. Not sure why they would have two drinks on the menu that taste so similar, but let’s just assume that my taste buds were too inebriated to notice the difference. And speaking of not noticing things, there was another drink with mint in it that was also quite refreshing, but I can’t recall the name for the life of me, and no, it wasn’t a mojito. But whatever it was, should you spot it on the menu, it would be fourth for me.

And bringing up the rear, chosen from the “strong” category, the Sazerac was the only one I didn’t like. Not because it was too strong, but because it felt too heavy. Not something you can drink more than one of, and not something you would ever want on a hot summer day. Granted, if it were a hot summer day you probably wouldn’t be looking to grab a drink in a friggin’ basement, now would you?

4 teeth