Ess-a-Bagel

831 3rd Ave. New York, NY 10022(212) 980-1010 ess-a-bagel.com

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There is raging debate as to who has the best bagel in the city and I think I have to give the edge to H&H or maybe even Russ & Daughters. But right on the heels for me would be Ess-a, especially if you are talking about the establishment as a whole, as I believe Ess-a-Bagel would then move up the second slot, because they simply crush H & H when it comes to things like whitefish salad, cream cheese, lox and sable.

Sure, you have to put up with the vaudeville-type lifers behind the counter who can turn your outing into a 20 minute soliloquy when all you want is a fucking bagel, but at least it’s worth it. In particular, the worthiest of the lot for me is their sesame bagel, scooped out, with whitefish salad, lettuce and tomato (or cucumber). The whitefish is salted to perfection and I’ve never had better. But just be sure get the bagel scooped as I mentioned, otherwise you’ll be lapping the whitefish off of your tray.

Equally worthy is their Nova on an everything bagel with veggie cream cheese and tomato.  The Nova is so damn buttery you will want to roll around in it like Demi Moore in Indecent Proposal. Be sure to get this, or the whitefish salad, with a half sour pickle and a Dr. Brown’s Cream Soda and you will be lost in Bagel bliss.

In terms of baked goods, Ess-a also has a few winners like their lemon pound cake in particular, but where they fall short for me is on the rugelach, and babkas. You can find far superior versions at Breads and Second Avenue Deli. But on the whole, Ess-a gets an A for breakfast, lunch or catering.

4 teeth

2nd Avenue Deli

162 E 33rd St. New York, NY 10016(212) 689-9000 • 2ndavedeli.com

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Forget for a moment that it’s not on Second Avenue. It used to be, but some greedy landlord hiked up the rent and they moved. Yes, it would’ve been ideal for them to find a new location somewhere along Second Avenue, but I’m assuming they tried that. And in hindsight, I’m guessing they probably wished they had chosen a different name for the restaurant, but I imagine they never thought this would ever happen to them. Guess they should’ve maybe read a few history books, because being displaced is hardly a foreign dynamic to the Jewish people.

But enough about the move, because regardless of where this place is, it will always be the quintessential New York deli experience in my eyes.  Corn beef sandwiches the size of your head (pictured), but quality meat. Not just packed on there for gluttony sake like at Carnegie or Stage Deli. Same goes for their pastrami. Knishes and potato pancakes as good or better than Bubby used to make. Their eggs with lox and onions is killer. The best rugelach in the city. Best matzoh ball soup. Even the pickles and pickled tomatoes sitting their free, right on your table are worth writing about, hence I am. If you are a Jew, and live within 50 miles of this place and haven’t been there yet, you should be ashamed of yourself.

5 teeth