Rosa Mexicano

61 Columbus Ave. New York, NY 10023 • (212) 977-7700 • rosamexicano.com

Enchiladas+Mole+Poblano_1

I’ve been going to Rosa for years. All three locations in the city, and multiple times at that. So I think it’s fair to say that we have some history together. And while there are many things I still love about Rosa, like any long-term relationship, we’ve had our rocky times as well.

The first time we met, I was instantly smitten by her fresh-made guacamole right there table-side. But this was back in the day before Dos Caminos and virtually every other Mexican joint copied them. Since then, however, I’ve learned a trick or two on how to spice things up, literally. Although the innuendo does work nicely. So, if you’re like me and you want more heat in your heat in your guac, you can ask them to double or even triple the chopped jalapeno count in the bowl. And if you’re into oral masochism, again like me, you can even ask that they go in the back and grab some habaneros instead, to give it more kick than a mule with a soccer fetish.

But man cannot live on guac alone, and fortunately Rosa does many other things very well. Some classics like empanadas, tacos, enchiladas, quesadillas and poblano dishes, and some with a modern twist, like their skirt steak sandwich on ciabatta with caramelized onions and cojita cheese or their incredible bunuelos served with chocolate and raspberry dipping sauces that make them even more ridiculously addictive than they already are (a borderline Ultimate Doughnut).

Sounds like a Hollywood romance, doesn’t it? But it wasn’t always that way. A while back at their Upper West-ish/Hell’s Kitchen location, I took my cousin and his fiance who were in town for a visit. And let’s just say Rosa treated us like mierda. First they made us wait at the bar for about 45 minutes for our table, and that’s with having a reservation. Fortunately, they have great drinks, but the bar was so over crowded it felt more like being on the subway at rush hour with a margarita in your hand.

Then, once seated, we naturally ordered the fresh made guac, and everything was going deliciously as always… That is, until the entrees came. When a few of us ordered the paella risotto, and while it was tasty for the first several bites, it was also filled with shards of PLASTIC!!! Yes, several bits of plastic were mixed all throughout the dish. And when we told the waiter, they literally did nothing about it! They didn’t comp a single dish. The manager didn’t even come over apologize. Nothing. And just like that they lost a customer for over almost a decade.

However, forgiveness is divine, as they say, and a few years back I decided to let Rosa back into my life. The one near Union Square. And slowly but surely, she earned my trust back and we have been together happily ever since… end scene.

3 teeth

 

Le Petit Paris

13 Rue des Belges 06400 Cannes, FR • +33 4 93 38 88 60 • http://www.le-petitparis.fr
le-petit-paris-cannes-1374605152

Until this restaurant I had actually never had an out and out bad meal at Cannes. Sure, I’ve had my share snores, but nothing this atrocious. The setting, however, is passable and the waiters were fine, but the food is a total non-starter.

The onion tart app is so oniony it’s off-putting from the very first bite. The caprese salad (pictured) is served with tomatoes that taste like they were imported from Monsanto. And the mozzarella that was with it caused me to question the maternal sincerity of the cow that yielded it.

The lobster pasta entree was fishy and salty in a disturbing sort of way and the burger and fries served as nothing more than sustenance. And that’s at 12:30am, when I was pretty famished, and a bit tipsy, making the level of difficulty to impress handily in La Petit’s favor, and yet they clearly missed the layup.

On the positive, I do have to admit that the raspberry parfait was pretty damn skippy, but I’m most definitely not suggestion you should head here just for that.

Such a miss, I want my money back and I didn’t even pay for it.

1 tooth