Fuku

163 1st AveNew York, NY 10003 • eatfuku.com

Normally I’m a pretty big David Chang fan, but Fuku is definitely missing the Momo mojo. The concept is fried chicken. In sandwiches, fingers and bites, with various builds in between. I went with the Spicy Fried Chicken Sandwich and despite the pickles and supposed habanero, it’s hopelessly bland. In fact, I emptied an entire ramekin of Saam Sauce (David’s answer to Sriracha) just to make it worth eating.

For those of you thinking, but Ferocious, it’s figgin’ chicken, how much flavor can you expect?! MUCH more. Just try the one at Son of a Gun and R+D Kitchen, both in LA. I realize neither are very convenient for a New Yorker, but if you’re ever out that way, my case rests in the City of Angels.

The bites are in the same bland boat, so let’s not waste your precious time reading about these balls of blandness either.

There is a silver lining on the TryCaviar menu however, should you choose to ignore my advice. The salad. Yes, salad. It’s a kale base, loaded with broccoli, shishito peppers and edemame peas. It’s the bomb.

And speaking of explosions, the Compost Cookie is always a strong go-to. Granted I feel like it’s not quite as good as the ones at Milk Bar. And even if it were, my advice to you, if you’re ordering on the aforementioned TryCaviar, get your cookies Dominique Ansel Bakery instead. You’ll thank me.

The Ultimate Baklava

burma_baklava_hdr_by_johnwaymont-d47k8r4

I’m nuts about Baklava. So much so that it forces me to write involuntary puns. The thing I suppose I love most about it is that it’s like a textural amusement park in your mouth with the light, flaky phyllo dough and the crunchy pistachios or walnuts or hazelnuts (depending on who’s making it), all packed in so densely it’s almost like mortar. Then you’ve got the sticky, syrup or honey holding it all together like Elmer’s. There’s so much effort crammed into every square centimeter you’d almost have to be an asshole not to appreciate it. That said, my two Ultimates aren’t exactly what one would call traditional baklavas. But this is my blog and as far as I’m concerned they are close enough.

Gulluoglu – New York, NY

The true name of the first Ultimate is actually sutlu nuriye, which means “glory with milk” and I concur. Glorious it is. And milky. Giving it a creaminess that most other baklavas lack. I’m sure we’ve all had our share of dry baklava and I think we can all agree it’s unacceptable. But not to worry here, because Gulluoglu doubles down on moisture with ample doses of syrup and milk, turning these magical blocks of brilliance into both the dessert itself and the glass of milk to wash it down, at the same time. Top that Momofuku Milk Bar!

Yalçin – Gölkoy, Turkey

Considering the Ottoman Empire birthed the dish, it only makes sense that after hundreds of years of tinkering there would be droves of baklava variations. And while they are inherently similar in many ways, the slight nuances from one to another can make all the difference. Be it in proportions, textures or flavor. And then you have to factor in who’s making it. In this particular case, it’s a little bakery right on the main strip in Golkoy called Yalçin, and the baklava of which I speak is called sarigi burma (pictured), which means “sultan’s turban dessert.” I assume the name is derived from the twisted appearance of the dish, which vaguely resembles a turban, coupled with how amazing it is, thus a dessert worthy of a sultan. And if ever there were a baklava deserving of royal billing, it’s ironically the one served up by a surprisingly humble-looking bakery. Their secret lies in not overdoing the sweet honey, but also in the densely rolled shreds of green pastry that almost resemble round bails of hay more than a turban, but I’m guessing that didn’t sound as sexy to the marketing team.

Crabtree Kittle House

11 Kittle Rd. Chappaqua, NY 10514(914) 666-8044kittlehouse.com

ls

I was very nervous to try this restaurant because so many Westchester restaurants have inflated praise on Yelp. Well, I am happy to report that this was the exception, not the rule. Crabtree is the real deal. From the moment we arrived, we were treated in accordance with the restaurant’s reputation. Decor is a little dated, and it’s a crying shame that they have acoustic tile on the ceiling in the dining room, but apart from that, I found the setting to be charming and the service to be great.

As for the food, it was a touch hit and miss, but mostly hits. And the misses were never bad. Just “eh.” Here’s the break down:

The Gnudi was terrific. The seared foie gras, while solid, was nothing above and beyond. But it is foie gras, so it’s hard to be anything less than great. The scallops were phenomenal! The best of the three apps.

The venison entree was a tad under-sauced, and thus bland without. But when you got a bite with sauce, it was quite good. The swordfish was excellent. A wonderful combination of flavors. Unfortunately, the trout was not. The weakest dish of the night. Flavorless compared to everything else.

And for dessert the chocolate gift and the crack pie were both very good, although both came with the wrong accoutrements. The coconut ice cream overpowers the crack pie (pecan pie without the pecans- heavily influenced by Mr. Momofuku), but goes beautifully with the chocolate gift. And conversely, the whipped cream on the chocolate gift was much better suited to the crack pie.

So all in, a great meal. And we will most definitely return. Thank you Crabtree for living up to the hype.

4 teeth

Fog never shined so bright

051_humboldt_fog

One of the oldest meals in world is still one of the best, as far as I’m concerned. Wine and cheese. It is literally without equal when you consider just how low maintenance it is in terms of preparation (for those of us who simply have to buy it), while still managing to come off classy and dare I say, special. Just try pulling this off with any other “pre-prepared” meal, like a frozen pizza.

But the trick is to know which cheese to buy. Enter Humboldt Fog, the Compost Cookie (Momofuku Milk Bar) of cheeses, meaning that they’ve thrown just about every possible ingredient you can imagine into this thing, and the result is a medium-creamy, bleu-ish jack-of-all-trades. I mean this cheese goes with everything, and I mean EVERYTHING. You can have it by itself. You can have it in an omelet. You can have it on a burger or hotdog. You can have it with spicy peppers or buttery prosciutto. You can even have it on a boat with a goat. But bland it’s not. It doesn’t go with everything simply by playing a supporting role. Oh no. This cheese will make its presence felt no matter where you put it, so don’t try sticking baby in a corner.

And speaking of corners, the best part about Humboldt Fog is that it’s easy to find, right around the corner from virtually everyone. It’s at every Whole Foods. Plus, you can also buy it online directly from the makers at Cypress Grove, from Murray’s and even on Amazon. So once they get those drones going you can literally air drop some Humboldt fog right at your doorstep. Which could get dangerous. Bon appetite!

5 teeth