Chappaqua Tavern

76 King Street, Chappaqua, NY 10514 • (914) 861-2744 • chappaquatavern.com

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I know it’s a bit unfair to review a brand new place before it has a chance to get into its groove, but A) I am not the “fair” foodie. And B) apparently my waiting benefited no one, because the groove they seem to have found is one of slow service and edible mediocrity from what I hear. Yes, once again the curse of 76 King Street is back with a vengeance! Not one restaurant has managed to last more than two years there and this one will likely be no different. Perhaps it’s built on Indian burial ground?

For some cases in point as to why it won’t last, let’s start with the atrocious service. So slow I’ve seen decrepit 90-somethings travel the hallways of retirement homes with more urgency. But not only were the servers ridiculously slow at everything from taking our order, to bringing drinks to delivering the food and check, when they finally did bring things they kept dropping the silverware onto the table, the floor, and my child’s lap, which would’ve been funny if it were Mister Bean, but sadly it was only just annoying. As was the fact that after taking forever to ask for our order, they still managed to screw it up!

Of the correct things they brought to the table, they did better than one might expect, the burger was actually pretty good and so was the fried calamari with the spicy-sweet combo of honey and jalapenos, granted they went a little stingy on the jalapenos. But stinginess aside, you can find far worse at other places in the burbs that enjoy unworthy raves. That said, you’d be hard-pressed to find worse arancini, I must say. They were so dry and tasteless they were arantragic. I’ve accidentally swallowed dust bunnies with more flavor.

As for dessert, naturally we skipped it. After all, we didn’t want our children to grow old there.

But as critical as I’ve been on this place, do hurry down if you want to try it, because I’d be willing to bet my Ferocious reputation it won’t be around much longer.

2 teeth