Maison Premiere

298 Bedford AveBrooklyn, NY 11249 • (347) 335-0446 •


More like Maison Meh. And to think this place was actually considered for a James Beard! It’s not even worthy of a James Buchanan. Sure, the setting is nice in the back garden and the oysters are money, especially with that marvelous mignonette, but just because the serve absinthe doesn’t make them 4 stars (unless you got really drunk on the absinthe and meant to actually click 2 stars). This over inflation of culinary prowess makes Brooklynites look desperate, trying to keep claiming that all the really good restaurants are now in Brooklyn and not Manhattan. They aren’t. I’m sorry to break it to you. Okay, so you’ve got Vinegar Hill House, Blanca, Red Hook Lobster Pound, Peter Pan Donuts, Peter Luger– Okay, fuck it. So you have a lot of good restaurants. That still doesn’t change the fact that Maison isn’t one of them.

The crudos are crapo. The cod brandade is blandade. The sardines and olive starters are passable at best. And even the octopus is a rubbery mess. And I wish I could say things got better but apart from the Atlantic Cod served over Tarbais beans and the pork porterhouse with mashed potatoes and shrooms, they got so much worse. The lobster roll would be considered a crime in the state of Maine. And the duck au poivre is so inedible it could almost start a war again with France.

But the atrocities against our mouths weren’t quite done yet as the monster rose back up from the dead for one final blow, in the form of empty calories. Both the cheesecake and the absinthe pana cotta were bunk, sealing the fate of MP with a firm two knives.

Pearl Oyster Bar

18 Cornelia St. New York, NY 10014(212)


I’ve been going to this place since it was only about eight bar stools and one four top. It was incredible then, and it’s still awesome, even though it’s about triple the size. And still serving up one of the best lobster rolls South of Maine. Sure, the wait is annoying and the fact that they don’t take reservations sucks, but if you just go a little on the early side, you’ll beat the crowds.

Also, a few other stand-outs, the fried oysters are so good we get them every time we go, and I don’t even really like fried oysters.

For dessert, the blueberry pie ala mode is also worth the splurge.

And last but not least, those of you who have heard that Mary’s Fish Camp is basically the same thing as she used to be the ex partner/lover of the owner of Pearl – yeah, well don’t believe it. I’ve been to both, and Mary’s is a VERY distant second. I’d rather wait an hour at Pearl than sit immediately at Mary’s (and no, Pearl didn’t pay me to say this).

5 teeth