Moderne Barn

430 Bedford Rd. Armonk, NY 10504(914) 730-0001


In truth, I would actually give it 2.5 knives, but Ferocious Foodie don’t play that, so alas, I feel the need to round down out of sheer ferociousness, well, that and because it’s very overpriced for what it is. And what exactly is that? Mediocre, inconsistent execution of seemingly interesting preparations served up in a nice, but noisy dining room that’s perhaps a bit too large for its own good.

So, with the food being all over the map, consider this your culinary Garmin. In terms of liquid starters, I had the Pear Tree Martini, which goes down easier than you can say “I’m sorry occifer. I didn’t realize the stop sign was green.” But as for the more chewable starters, I’ve had the octopus, which is a solid good, although I can’t say it lives up to the rave reviews, especially when you can get better tentacles just right down the street at Fortina.  The broiled Bluepoint oysters with blackberry barbeque sauce, bacon and maytag blue cheese (see what I mean about the preparations sounding good?) are terrible. And whatever my wife’s,  salad was, don’t get that either. It came horribly over-dressed.

As for entrees, I’ve had the short ribs, which are just okay, better when you combine them with the bone marrow mashed potatoes- like biting into a meaty cloud with a smoky finish. The burger also hits the spot with the help of gruyere, caramelized onions and rosemary sea salt fries. But unfortunately, once again, wifey missed with the fig & prosciutto pizza which was a not so distant cousin to cardboard.

Yes, with so many hits and misses you’re bound to feel like Indiana Jones trying not to step on the wrong tile, but fortunately the light at the end of the tunnel arrives at dessert, which is where the Barn shines brightest. Both the Chocolate Hazelnut tart and the Ginger Peach Crumble were excellent! So good they almost make you want to forgive them for all of the other duds… almost.

My advice? Drinks and dessert, and you are golden!

2 teeth


50 Clinton St. New York, NY 10002(212)


So, word on the Grub Street is that this place is about to close down. Well, what can I say? I’m not the least bit surprised. WD-50 is the restaurant version of that guy in Raiders of the Lost Ark who swings around the sword all crazy-like, only to get blown away by Indiana Jones… Only in this case, Indy is played by Momofuku Ko, a true master of culinary technology that actually translates into taste, something that always eluded WD-50. I mean sure the presentations were wonderful. And the inventiveness was off the charts. But all of that trickery comes crashing down after you take a bite and realize that tricks are indeed for kids.

But if eating pasta made out of shrimp is your thing, or if you always wondered what it would look like if a grape fucked a watermelon, than I strongly suggest you hurry before it’s too late. Don’t worry, I won’t get in your way.

2 teeth