Tick Tock Diner

481 8th Ave. New York, NY 10001(212) 268-8444ticktockdinerny.com

TickTockDiner-NY

Unofficially, I believe the name is derived from the fact that if you eat here, the clock is running on how much time you have left to live. Okay, so that’s probably not entirely true. It’s probably how much time before you become ill, which for me was only a matter of seconds, stepping in to the sauna-like dining room, which a term way too nice for whatever this was. “Eating area” I will call it.

So, the eating area is actually quite packed during the breakfast rush, for reasons which escape me entirely, because the food is god awful. Granted our career waitress who has been there since the day it opened 17 years ago was very nice. And apparently she squeezed the oranges herself to make the fresh squeezed orange juice I ordered. The issue, however, is that you need to start with good oranges in order to get good juice. After all, it’s not like the process of fresh squeezing miraculously transforms a pile of shit oranges into liquid gold. Thus, the fresh squeezed orange juice was plus rapidly turned minus.

And equally tragic was the Greek omelet, which was so disappointing it almost rivaled the economic issues in Greece as the lowest point in the nation’s modern day history. Filled with feta, spinach, olives and tomatoes it was so flavorless I could’ve closed my eyes and had someone told me it was a plain omelet, I wouldn’t have even questioned it. I guess this place is as terrified of salt as they are of buying fresh produce?

Suffice it to say, this place isn’t going to be raking in the knives, so if you are already sitting in the eating area and are reading this now, get out while you still can! Tick tock!!!!

1 tooth

Yankee Pier

San Francisco International Airport, Terminal 3 Gate 72
780 S Airport Blvd. San Francisco, CA94128 • (650) 821-8938yankeepier.com

yankee-pier

It’s in an airport, so you can’t obviously walk in expecting Iron Chef, but then again, it also does hit the spot. And it’s better than the shit they serve on planes these days. But if you want to hold them to task, here would be my nits:

The Greek Omelet while good-ish, was a bit over-buttery, which sort of defeated the purpose of my getting it with egg whites. And the home fries were sad and soggy.

Fortunately the service was quick and very friendly. And décor, well, you’re at an airport, so I’ll give them a pass on that one.

Back on the kudos side, I do actually think it’s better than Boudin bakery’s pre-made breakfast crap, but that’s not saying a ton since it’s located in a food court, even if it does bear the name of a Thomas Keller establishment.

2 teeth