Underwest Donuts

2 Pennsylvania Plz New York, NY 10121 • (347) 952-0079 • underwestdonuts.com

 

Brace yourselves Underwest fans, because things are about to go South. I know it’s bad form to bitch about a donut, after all, it’s sugary bread, what’s to bitch about? Well, hype for one. I mean, I haven’t fallen this far from the hype tree in a while. What am I missing? Is it because it has West in the name that somehow people think there’s an affiliation with Westworld and therefore must be brilliant?

Regrettably, about the only thing these donuts have in common with the hit HBO series is that when you’re done, it’s not quite as satisfying as you would’ve hoped.

I tried several different flavors too, strawberry, helva and brown butter, but it pains me to say that they were imperceptibly different from one another, each tasting like a bag of sugar with food coloring. I honestly think Dunkin’, Krispy Kreme and even Entenmann’s are better options. And cheaper.

But if it’s fancy dough you crave, try Peter Pan in Brooklyn or The Doughnut Plant in multiple Manhattan locations. Both are amazeballs and make Underwest seem underwhelming by comparison.

Dynamo Donuts

2760 24th St. San Francisco, CA94110(415) 920-1978dynamodonut.com

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Having heard such rave reviews of this place, including on “Best Thing Ever: Bacon,” we went VERY out of our way to go. After all, it’s not exactly located in the middle of it all, which is a nice way of saying no place I would ever go again unless I was at gun point. So, considering the effort, I wanted these donuts to at least meet me halfway. Well, regretfully they fall miserably to the bottom of the hype bucket.

I think the best way to describe the depths of disappointment would be to start with the dough itself, which is actually quite dry compared to the rest of doughnut stardom. And last I checked, “dry” is very rarely a good thing when it comes to food. So, it would seem that Dynamo tries to cover this up using “dynamic” flavors. Unusual flavors. Especially in donut land. For example the bacon maple or the lemon pistachio. And while these may sound good in theory, in practice they start to come off as more of a gimmick. More like jelly beans flavored like hamburgers and buttered popcorn.

But, if you like eating parlor tricks, be my guest. I’d rather eat at Dunkin’ or Krispy Kreme.

2 teeth