Lunch

1980 Montauk Hwy. Amagansett, NY 11930 • (631) 267-3740 lobsterroll.com

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If you’re watching The Affair on HBO, this is the place that the lead actress, Ruth Wilson, works at as a waitress. And while there is significantly less drama in the restaurant than on the show, the place is better than the tourist trap you might think it is, and I’m not just saying that because it’s an icon of the Montauk-Hampton scene. The lobster rolls (pictured) are solid and the beer on tap is on point.

The setting is also on point. Still charming as all hell with its authentic, 50 year old beach shack vibe, located on the side of a sparsely settled stretch of road with nothing around you but dunes and their bright blue sign. And while I can’t say that the name is a tour de force of creativity, it goes nicely with the no frills personality. Which in turn goes nicely with flip-flops, board shorts and a bushel of mussels.

They have droves of other seafood food options as well, although I haven’t had any of them, always opting for the tired and true. And if someone in your party is bringing down the party, rest assured they have burgers and chicken, etc… for those who don’t dig the oceanic bounty.

3 teeth

Squires

 218 N State Rd. Briarcliff, NY 10510 • (914) 762-3376squiresofbriarcliff.com

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I’ve heard a lot of people swear by this burger, but after the debacle at The Blazer Pub I was very skittish, regardless of the 3-time Best of Westchester crownings. Sorry BOW, but you’re about as reliable as Yelp.

Upon entering, the crowd didn’t make me feel much better, loaded with geriatrics to the point where I could’ve sworn I was on the set of the film Cocoon 3. But as depressing as the fogey-fest was, I was more unnerved by the fact that this place belongs somewhere in the middle of the dessert along Route 66 where drifters sign up for contract killings. So feeling like Dorothy in the Land of Oz, I ordered up a pint of Stella and the Cheese Supreme Burger.

The Stella on tap was on point and the service was very friendly- in fact, even the burger is definitely good on a purist level, but best in Westchester? It’s not even in my top three. The Inn at Pound Ridge, Melts and the Napa Burger at Westchester Burger Co. all trounce the Cheese Supreme, which was a supreme disappointment initially. So much so that I had my server fetch some jalapenos stat, to resuscitate some life back into the mozzarella, cheddar and Swiss trio of tastelessness. Luckily it worked. And perhaps I’m to blame for listening to the recommendations of my waiter and Yelper’s alike, but then again, it’s more fun to blame them. And while I’m at it, the friggin’ bun was about 30% too small for the patty. I hate that. It makes me what to hire a contract killer and take out the reviews that touted this place. Hmmm… Perhaps I am in the right place after all?

2 teeth

Burp Castle

41 E 7th St. New York, NY 10003(212) 982-4576burpcastlenyc.wordpress.com

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The only way to describe this place is one part Disney, one part Trappist monk brewery and should you venture inside, you will quickly see why. Scratch that. You can see pretty clearly from the sidewalk, because the facade is a medieval castle. Think Excalibur Casino in Vegas, but only one story high and about 1000 square feet inside. Fortunately the decor is not as garish as Excalibur, but still most definitely themed with servers dressed as “brewist monks” in fully cloaked pageantry and Renaissance-style murals on the walls (pictured) that depict a rather un-Disney-like scene, more like Caligula, with the aforementioned monks gallivanting about with topless nymphs. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, it is, however, worth noting.

Also worth noting is that this is not the place to go if you want to get pissed. These monks like it mellow, so should you get too boisterous prepare to be shushed.

As for the beer itself, it’s very, very good. It kind of has to be for this place to still be around for over twenty years. And true to the Trappist way, they engage in a healthy worship of beer, stocking the place with interesting selections on draft that tend to rotate from time to time. But even with the rotation, you’re always sure to find the staples, like lager, pilsner, tripel, stout, wheat, etc… What you won’t find, however, is the same ole, same ole bar experience.

3 teeth

Yak-Zies

3710 N Clark St. Chicago, IL 60613(773) 525-9200yakzies.com

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Chicago thin crust pizza is a dicey proposition in general, so I think a grain of salt needs to be taken at the onset of this review. That said, Yak-Zies does manage to shine in a few key places. The first place being Summer. Yes, that shining I spoke of is primarily the sun, and Yak-Zies takes advantage of every last ray with a great outdoor seating vibe that’s filled with energy (code for young people getting inebriated).

The other shiny object to discover is their famous Chicken Tang Pizza. It’s less novel nowanddays, but once upon a time they were one of only a handful nationwide who offered a Buffalo chicken pie. And being the heat-seeker that I am, I do loves me some Buffalo chicken. Unfortunately though, The Tang is not all that spicy hot. It’s more the flavor of Buffalo spices and therein lies my gripe. The failure to commit. I mean the least they could do is offer up varying degrees of torture, but sadly that isn’t the case. But what can you expect from a sports bar? Lucky for them their pitchers of draft beer are so damn affordable it’s hard to stay mad for long.

2 teeth