Turntable Chicken

34-36 W 32nd St – Fl 5New York, NY 10001 • (212) 594-4344 • turntablelpbar.com
The vibe alone is worth a visit, almost like eating in the movie High Fidelity with John Cusack. The walls all lined with vinyl and speakers bigger than the opening scene in Back to the Future. Woah.

But that’s where the excitement ends, I’m afraid, because the fired chicken sammy that everyone raves about is not all that, nor is it a bucket of chicken, because it’s SO thin you can almost floss with it! Not an exaggeration, sadly. To quote one reviewer on Yelp, “they must use very skinny chickens.” Truer words were never spoken. Fortunately the flavor and heat are good, but let’s face it, you’re basically eating a breading sandwich.

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Fuku

163 1st AveNew York, NY 10003 • eatfuku.com

Normally I’m a pretty big David Chang fan, but Fuku is definitely missing the Momo mojo. The concept is fried chicken. In sandwiches, fingers and bites, with various builds in between. I went with the Spicy Fried Chicken Sandwich and despite the pickles and supposed habanero, it’s hopelessly bland. In fact, I emptied an entire ramekin of Saam Sauce (David’s answer to Sriracha) just to make it worth eating.

For those of you thinking, but Ferocious, it’s figgin’ chicken, how much flavor can you expect?! MUCH more. Just try the one at Son of a Gun and R+D Kitchen, both in LA. I realize neither are very convenient for a New Yorker, but if you’re ever out that way, my case rests in the City of Angels.

The bites are in the same bland boat, so let’s not waste your precious time reading about these balls of blandness either.

There is a silver lining on the TryCaviar menu however, should you choose to ignore my advice. The salad. Yes, salad. It’s a kale base, loaded with broccoli, shishito peppers and edemame peas. It’s the bomb.

And speaking of explosions, the Compost Cookie is always a strong go-to. Granted I feel like it’s not quite as good as the ones at Milk Bar. And even if it were, my advice to you, if you’re ordering on the aforementioned TryCaviar, get your cookies Dominique Ansel Bakery instead. You’ll thank me.

La Pecora Bianca

1133 Broadway New York, NY 10010 • (212) 498-9696 • lapecorabianca.com

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Only two years young, this relative newcomer has a soothing effect the moment you walk in, with its pastel and white trimmed decor, which feels much more French café than Italian ristorante, but I’ll let it slide.

What is harder to let slide are the flies inside the restaurant, during winter no less. Not exactly the companions I was hoping to join me at my table. The other thing I can’t ignore is that the food, on average, is relatively average.

Among my favorite things would be the caprese sandwich made with green tomatoes and stretched mozzarella, which comes off sort of like burrata. It’s definitely good, but just not as good as it sounds.

Another solid get is their gazpacho, although they blend it quite thoroughly, whereas I much prefer the chunky, textural take on the dish. But flavor-wise is hits all the right notes.

In the middle, I’d chalk up the Bolognese. It’ll do the job if you have a hankering, especially with a glass of cabernet, but don’t expect it to make your day.

And my one big skip would be the chicken sandwich. It’s as bland as this current season of Homeland.

My advice, head one avenue over and try L’Amico. It’s far superior in every way. Unfortunately that means it’s also much harder to get into.

2 teeth

 

The Hollywood Brown Derby

Disney’s Hollywood Studios • Walt Disney World Resort • Lake Buena Vista, FL 32830 • (407) 939-2267 • disneyworld.disney.go.com/dining/hollywood-studios/hollywood-brown-derby

hollywood-brown-derby

Ever since I used to work at Disney’s MGM Studios (now Hollywood Studios) as a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle, and yes, that sentence just came out of my mouth, I have always wanted to eat here. Widely considered to be the best restaurant in all of the theme parks combine (not including hotels).

Well, some 25 years later, and no longer a turtle, I finally made it to lunch here, and I’m happy to report that it was worth the wait. Well, at least the food is, the service quite annoyingly slow. But after waiting 25 years, what’s another hour, right?

In terms of décor, while fake to the bone like all things Disney, it still passes as MUCH nicer than any other restaurant in all of Disney, hotels included this time, with the only exception being Victoria and Albert. Set to make you feel like you are back in the 50’s, eating at some Hollywood movie star favorite, the Derby delivers an experience that truly rivals The Palm. Granted I don’t love The Palm, so perhaps that isn’t saying much.

Now on to the grub! Which is more surprising than learning that Mickey Mouse is more often than not played by a girl. For example, their waygu beef burger holds its own amongst many of the so-called best burgers in the country. Topped with gruyere, pastrami, Cognac mustard and a fried egg this crazy-ass messy burger will take you right to the threshold of embarrassment as you will meld with this bun-filled beacon of beef like you were soul mates. Also, it comes paired with a beer called La Fin du Monde, which I also highly recommend for the melding process. It’s a French Canadian tripel, which means it’s a very strong ale… which means 9% alcohol… which is nearly twice that of a regular beer… which means you’ll need a nap later.

And equally impressive, but vastly different was the andouille crusted chicken sandwich with smoked bacon, white cheddar and veggie slaw all sitting on an onion Kaiser roll.

Now I’m not about to run back to Disney again anytime soon, but if I do, this will be higher on my list than that 3-D Buzz Lightyear shooting game, which really is quite fun, I have to admit.

4 teeth

 

‘wichcraft

11 E 20th St. New York, NY 10003(212) 780-0577 • wichcraftnyc.com

Witchcraft

Sandwich gri la! This place kicks some serious derriére between two slices of bread. But I expect no less from Colicchio. My favorite sammies are the fried egg, frisée and gruyere, the roasted turkey avocado and bacon with onion relish and the heritage smoked ham- all three are choice. Granted sometimes they over cook the egg on the first one, so be sure to ask for it runny. Otherwise why even get it, am I right?

After that though, it can be a little more on the average side as the chicken sandwich, pastrami and meatloaf are all good but not great.

Other plusses- they do have seating upstairs and they are one of the few places left that stocks Grapefruit Fizzy Lizzy (a natural soda drink and personal fav of mine).

4 teeth