99 Miles to Philly

94 3rd Ave. New York, NY 10003(212) 253-270099milestophillyeastvillage.com

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As you wrap your chomper around this cheesesteak, your lips will practically jump off your face and run up a flight of stairs, Balboa-style. You, on the other hand, will remain firmly planted in your seat, because damn is it heavy. And I mean, maximus heavius. But lord is it worth it. Like little Liberty bells of joy ringing in your ears as you chew. I’ve had Cheesesteaks in Philly that should be ashamed to have been beaten so badly by a NYC joint.

Then there’s the chili cheese fries. I couldn’t even finish half of them, but they were equally gut-busting delicious, in a I-know-this-is-killing-me-with-every-passing-bite sort of way.

And while you’ll probably wish you were in Philly, so you could jog the 99 miles back home to help burn it off, it’s also nice that you can get your Philly finest in less than 99 meters.

4 teeth

Shorty’s

66 Madison Ave. New York, NY 10016(212) 725-3900shortysnyc.com

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I’ve never spent any quality time in Philly, but I have had my share of brief visits to the City of Brotherly Love, and I have to say, those cheesesteaks have nothing on Shorty’s. Especially when you’ve got sharp provolone in your wheelhouse. Not to mention broccoli rabe. Yes, I like mine fancy. But I also can appreciate the purest whiz. And both are VERY on point.

Additionally, there are a host of great beers, in bottles, cans and draft. As well as some awesome fries and onion rings, just the way I like them- crunchy on the outside, tender inside.

Also, the place is perfect for a sports outing with a TV on practically every surface but your chair.

And last but not least, the lunch special – cheesesteak & a draft beer for 12 bucks, I mean faggetaboutit!

4 teeth