Bar Americain

152 W 52nd St. New York, NY 10019(212) 265-9700 baramericain.com

 BarAmericainSkate

If it pleases the court, I would like submit exhibit A into evidence, that Bobby Flay is stretched WAY too thin. The menu, while quite promising in theory, falls flat on its face in execution. Maybe he should retire from Iron Chef, or stop throwing down and get back in his restaurants to make sure they are living up to his name, because quite frankly, they aren’t. Mesa (RIP) has fallen and Bar Americain can’t get up. I hear Gato is supposed to be good, but after eating here, I’m definitely skeptical.

First, the airplane hanger-sized dining room doesn’t do much in terms of making you feel like you are in for something special. On the contrary, you feel more like cattle being herded into a money-making machine. This is not to say that all large dining rooms are bad and all small ones are quaint. I happen to like the dinning rooms of Cipriani, Tao and Guastavino’s very much. And all three are equally grand. But that’s just it, they are grand. Not just big.

Anyways, enough about the decor. I’m sure you want to hear about what sucked, so without further delay I will say almost everything. Well, not “sucked,” that’s unfair, but underwhelming for realz.

From the triple greens salad to the tuna tartar to the pork chop to dessert, which was so impressionable I can’t even remember what it was, none of it was worth the time or money… with one exception.

If you have to have to go here, then the cioppino is your salvation. If you don’t know what the hell that is, it’s basically an Italian bouillabaisse. It’s spicy and the bread that comes with it is diptastic. Sadly, that’s the only thing I had, in two separate visits, that is worthy of the “tastic” suffix.

2 teeth

Le Jardin Du Roi

95 King St. Chappaqua, NY 10514(914) 238-1368lejardinchappaqua.com

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This is a very hard review for me, because various aspects of our experiences here are so vastly different from one another, that it’s difficult to distill it all into one knife count. So, please read on, and you will better understand my conflicted review.

Décor Outside: 4 knives. The outdoor seating area is very charming in a little garden right off King St., perched high on a patio with dappled light pouring through the trees above. A true “jardin” setting to its name.

Inside Décor: 2 knives. The inside seating feels a quite dated and run down. Especially the bathrooms. Granted I suppose one can’t be too particular about where one goes to pop a squat.

Staff Service: 2 knives. Apart from being slow, they were also quite bad. For example, we ordered two Arnold Palmers and apple juice for my son. When they delivered the drinks, they even cut the apple juice with iced tea! Fortunately, he quickly remedied the situation. Then, after ordering our meal, I am told they are out of mustard for the burger! A place that is SO well known for its burgers completely ran out of Dijon by 12:45pm during Sunday Brunch?!? This is sacrilege to me. And while this last one is the tiniest of nits, it’s indicative of the sloppiness at large. Upon paying the bill they delivered the check, post running my credit card, without a pen. Details people. Details.

Owner/Manager Service: 5 knives. This makes up for a lot. Joe came by, asked how we were doing. We told him it was our first time at his restaurant and that we had just moved to the area. He was very friendly, talked to us a while. Made us feel right at home, and even gave us a complementary order of French Toast. For this alone, we happily returned… for dinner.

Brunch: 3 knives. The burger was indeed good. Charred perfectly on the outside, juicy on the inside. Good quality meat. The lobster roll was just okay, as was the lobster salad that my wife had. And the French Toast was very good, maybe because it was free. Maybe because it was just really good. A simple baguette soaked through with eggy goodness.

Dinner: 1 Knife. So, as I mentioned above, we happily returned. But unfortunately “happily” was not how we left. Service was noticeably better and Joe was as friendly as ever, but man is the dinner menu bad. The salad with goat cheese and spinach wontons was meh. The special sole almondine with ratatouille was just okay. The bouillabaisse was flavorless and the moules frites was a shell of the one served at Red Hat. And the bread pudding was an edible nail in the coffin. So bad I felt the need to go back and update this review, docking it a knife.

And so, there you have it, my NEW net, net… two knives

2 teeth.