Ess-a-Bagel

831 3rd Ave. New York, NY 10022(212) 980-1010 ess-a-bagel.com

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There is raging debate as to who has the best bagel in the city and I think I have to give the edge to H&H or maybe even Russ & Daughters. But right on the heels for me would be Ess-a, especially if you are talking about the establishment as a whole, as I believe Ess-a-Bagel would then move up the second slot, because they simply crush H & H when it comes to things like whitefish salad, cream cheese, lox and sable.

Sure, you have to put up with the vaudeville-type lifers behind the counter who can turn your outing into a 20 minute soliloquy when all you want is a fucking bagel, but at least it’s worth it. In particular, the worthiest of the lot for me is their sesame bagel, scooped out, with whitefish salad, lettuce and tomato (or cucumber). The whitefish is salted to perfection and I’ve never had better. But just be sure get the bagel scooped as I mentioned, otherwise you’ll be lapping the whitefish off of your tray.

Equally worthy is their Nova on an everything bagel with veggie cream cheese and tomato.  The Nova is so damn buttery you will want to roll around in it like Demi Moore in Indecent Proposal. Be sure to get this, or the whitefish salad, with a half sour pickle and a Dr. Brown’s Cream Soda and you will be lost in Bagel bliss.

In terms of baked goods, Ess-a also has a few winners like their lemon pound cake in particular, but where they fall short for me is on the rugelach, and babkas. You can find far superior versions at Breads and Second Avenue Deli. But on the whole, Ess-a gets an A for breakfast, lunch or catering.

4 teeth

Anglers

Central Terminal Dr. • LaGuardia AirportTerminal C • East Elmhurst, NY 11371
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While LaGuardia has most certainly upped its game as of late, there is still some upping left to be done. For starters, with the food. Sure, airport food is typically crap, but even within this very crappy spectrum, there exists the potential to be barely crappy, or super crappy. Sometimes, dare I say, even surprisingly good. Just check out Axel’s Bonfire in Minneapolis, Uncorkd in SFO or Beaudevin in Charlotte, NC.

But back to the rule as opposed to the exception, which is squarely where you’ll find Angler’s. Set amongst 4 other restaurants in a iPad serviced food court of the future that sounds much more interesting than it is. You basically search the menu on the iPad bolted to your table, place your order, and swipe your card to pay in advance- including tip. Which is a bit fucked up, because unless you’re clairvoyant, how in the hell do you know how much you want to tip server? Especially when they aren’t even really waiting on you, the friggin’ iPad is! But for argument sake, let’s assume you went the default, 18%. And let’s also assume you got the same shitty service I got. They delivered my poor excuse for a lobster roll a woeful 10 minutes before ever bringing my lemonade. And no, they didn’t even bother to bring me water to tide me over. Which posed quite the dilemma for me, do I eat it while the bun and fries are still warm, risking a parched mouth in dire need of moisture? Or, do wait for my drink to arrive, turning an already mediocre dish into a tepid mess? I split the difference.

Now, one might say to me, Ferocious Foodie, what in the hell were you thinking ordering a lobster roll at an airport? To which I would respond, fair point, duly noted and won’t happen again.

1 tooth