5 Napkin Burger

211 Market St. Yonkers, NY 10710 • (212) 496-20315napkin.com

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If you’re doing the Ridge Hill thing and you find yourself (and/or family) craving a burger joint, you now have two options to choose from. Elevation and 5 Napkin. And while that is technically true, as far as I’m concerned you still have zero options, and you’re better off driving to White Plains for 5 Guys or Westchester Burger Co. (the Napa Burger blows this place away).

That said, 5 Napkin is better than Elevation, but unfortunately that’s not saying much. And speaking of not saying much, I don’t have many compliments in store for 5 Napkin, so if you’re a fan, start warming up your rebuttal.

The décor, as others have stated, is casual, yet cool (probably the best thing about this place) and the service, as pointed out by many, is slow. Granted not quite as bad as the rap made it out to be, but certainly not about to break any land-speed records either.

On the burger front, they most definitely live up to their name, proving to be a complete and total mess. Unfortunately that’s also true on a culinary level. The Original Burger is over sauced to the point of greasy and off-putting, and the patty itself was served rare as opposed to medium rare, as ordered.

The veggie burger was better, made with an unusually predominate beet ratio, turning the patty a novel shade of red. On the downside, the bun they use is way too dense for the softer patty and it winds up squeezing out through the sides every time you bite into it, like pink Playdoh in a garlic press.

The French fries that come with the burgers are basic and nothing to speak of, so if you were hoping for twist in plot, sadly this story is only one note. I do, however, recommend substituting the fries with the cheddar tots. They are slightly better. But, if you want truly great tots, head over to Melts in Armonk. And while you’re at it, try their Wisconsin Patty Melt too. You will be very pleasantly surprised. It’s one of the better under-the-radar “burgers” in Westchester.

And while some people might think I’m just getting my jollies throwing places like this under the bus, it couldn’t be further from the truth. I just don’t like when things are misrepresented on Yelp, so I feel the need to be the balancing wheel. Even if it stings. And sting this did, because I was sincerely looking forward to this place opening up, but sadly, I have to give 5 Napkin just two knives.

2 teeth

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Lefteris Gyro

190 E Main St. Mount Kisco, NY 10549 • (914) 242-8965 • lefterisgyro.com

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I have eaten at all three locations, Tarrytown, Mount Kisco and Yonkers (Ridge Hill), not so much because I am a Lefteris groupie, but more because I like a good gyro and no matter where you are in Westchester, Lefteris is never too far away. And while I wish I could regale you with stories of magnificently thin lamb shavings, sprinkled with pixie dust, the greatness of Lefteris is born more from the rules of supply and demand than any culinary hocus-pocus. Put plainly, they are the only game in town.

And currently Lefteris is winning that game 3-0, because all three locations appear to be doing a good business. Partly due to the kid friendly/family friendly vibe. And partly due to the insanely generous portions for bargain basement prices. When I have it delivered, one order of the gyro platter is enough to feed me for two nights, making it less than eight bucks a meal. Note to the penny pincher.

Please take the knife count below with a grain of salt though. The stuffed grape leaves are crap and you can find better spinach pie at Stew Leonard’s, but the pitas always come warm and the gyro meat and souvlaki seldom miss the mark- that mark being a very casual Greek fix. They’re definitely not trying to be MP Taverna (not that MP impressed me either). So recalibrate your expectations and go for some good, quick, cheap, Greek eatin’ and you’ll be happier than Socrates… before he drank the hemlock.

3 teeth

Elevation Burger

228 Market St. Yonkers, NY 10710(914) 358-9400elevationburger.com

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I guess I’m not a “build your own burger” lover. I mean, isn’t part of what makes a restaurant great a point of view? Inventiveness? Show me what YOU can do. I know I can stick a ton of shit on a bun to suit my own palate. But when I walk into a restaurant I don’t want what I would do. I want what YOU would do. “Perspective” as Ego from Ratatouille would say.

So, Elevation scored zero points for me on the menu, per the rant above (shocker), but what about the quality of ingredients? They’re just okay. I honestly can’t say they’re any better than Shake Shack or 5 Guys or In and Out or BGR or Westchester Burger Co. And at least most of those guys bring something new to the party with an inventive burger or two… or ten.

But, with all of that said, if you happen to already be at Ridge Hill and you are jonesing for a burger, Elevation will do. Just don’t make a special trip and keep your expectations… less elevated.

2 teeth