Squires

 218 N State Rd. Briarcliff, NY 10510 • (914) 762-3376squiresofbriarcliff.com

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I’ve heard a lot of people swear by this burger, but after the debacle at The Blazer Pub I was very skittish, regardless of the 3-time Best of Westchester crownings. Sorry BOW, but you’re about as reliable as Yelp.

Upon entering, the crowd didn’t make me feel much better, loaded with geriatrics to the point where I could’ve sworn I was on the set of the film Cocoon 3. But as depressing as the fogey-fest was, I was more unnerved by the fact that this place belongs somewhere in the middle of the dessert along Route 66 where drifters sign up for contract killings. So feeling like Dorothy in the Land of Oz, I ordered up a pint of Stella and the Cheese Supreme Burger.

The Stella on tap was on point and the service was very friendly- in fact, even the burger is definitely good on a purist level, but best in Westchester? It’s not even in my top three. The Inn at Pound Ridge, Melts and the Napa Burger at Westchester Burger Co. all trounce the Cheese Supreme, which was a supreme disappointment initially. So much so that I had my server fetch some jalapenos stat, to resuscitate some life back into the mozzarella, cheddar and Swiss trio of tastelessness. Luckily it worked. And perhaps I’m to blame for listening to the recommendations of my waiter and Yelper’s alike, but then again, it’s more fun to blame them. And while I’m at it, the friggin’ bun was about 30% too small for the patty. I hate that. It makes me what to hire a contract killer and take out the reviews that touted this place. Hmmm… Perhaps I am in the right place after all?

2 teeth

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Good Food

1205 Pleasantville Rd. Briarcliff Manor, NY 10510 • (914) 432-7981

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With a name like this they are just begging for some asshole like me to come swooping in and shit all over their life’s endeavors, but as tempting as that might’ve been, I was actually pleasantly surprised. Not by the décor, however, it’s virtually nonexistent. But then again, the place isn’t called Good Décor. The staff, on the other hand, is very small-town warm and friendly, charming my pants off as they coerced me into ordering dessert when I was already full. Loveable bastards!

But before we leap all the way to the end, let’s go back to the beginning. Torn between a delicious sounding lineup of sandwiches and savory crepes I ultimately erred on the side of novelty and went with the caramelized onions, olives, basil, capers and goat cheese crepe, served with a side of couscous salad and damn was it good… food. No false advertising here. It was WAY better than the Little Crepe Street in Kisco and good enough that I will most certainly be returning in order to cover the rest of those chalkboards (check back for potential knife uppage).

So what did I do for dessert? A scoop of their Coconut Almond Joy ice cream. It was also good, obviously. But next time I will be sure to go with one of their Nutella crepes, which have my Ferocious name written all over them.

3 teeth

Terra Rustica

550 N State Rd. Briarcliff Manor, NY 10510 • (914) 923-8300terrarusticaristorante.com

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Looking for a change of pace from our usually places we go with the kids, we decided to roll the dice with Terra Rustica.

Upon entering, regret started creeping in fast as the decor is a bit dated, trying too hard to be nice, and by 1980’s standards no less.

My skepticism grew even further when it became clear that the staff was not Italian, but rather entirely Hispanic. Not that I have anything against Hispanics, it’s just that the odds tend to favor cuisine made by those who are indigenous to its origin. And yes, I’ve had  Japanese/Italian at Basta Pasta in NYC which only served to further prove said point.

And then came the first wave of food, the bread and olives and bruschetta. The bread was just eh. And the olives were pitted, which makes for convenience, but it also makes for dry olives. So not a great start. But then the tide started to turn, after all, this is a three knife review.

The bruschetta wasn’t half bad. And the frisee salad with apple was actually quite good.

The pizza was also pretty good. So were the pastas we had. Nothing was phenomenal mind you, but we weren’t expecting Fortina or The Cookery. So, all in all a successful venture.

And the service was friendly and attentive, which at the end of the day, is all that TRULY matters, not that they are Italian (nice save right?).

3 teeth